


without you (i'd be so lonely)

by chanmosphere



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Drama, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanmosphere/pseuds/chanmosphere
Summary: After three years of relationship, Chanyeol is ready to propose.Baekhyun has other ideas.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	1. if you leave me

The wind is blowing strong, messing up his hair and causing it to get into his mouth and nostrils; it tickles, but that doesn't compare to the butterflies in his stomach, so it doesn't really matter. Chanyeol bites his lower lip and opens the black velvety box for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, the moonstones embedded in the white gold band reflects the sunlight, blinding him for a second. Is not a conventional engagement ring, because Baekhyun is not a conventional person. It's been three years, waiting for the right time to take this huge step in their lives. Chanyeol didn't want to rush anything and make sure they were both on the same page. Pretty sure they are now.

Baekhyun is late, they were supposed to meet twenty minutes ago and that really should have been his first sign. Baekhyun is never late to anywhere. 

Maybe he's stuck in traffic, Chanyeol wants to believe, but deep inside he knows something is not entirely right.

Chanyeol takes his phone out of his pocket and presses one to speed dial Baekhyun, he hears the Baby Shark ringtone he set up for him as a joke a few days ago blasts in the air, making him look up and smile. 

"Hey." He blocks his phone and puts it back in his pocket. "I was… waiting for you."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, got stuck in the office. Ready for lunch?" Baekhyun twists his lips.

"Um… yeah, but I wanted to talk to you about something first." Chanyeol fidgets with the box in the hand he's hiding behind his back.

"Me too." 

Baekhyun sounds a little off, cold even, but maybe he's just imagining things and his insecurities are taking over again.

"Okay, Iㅡ"

"I'll go first." Baekhyun interrupts before Chanyeol can speak. He just nods and waits. "I know it's been three years. Too long if you ask me," he lets out a small sigh "and I think… well, I don't I see a future beyond what we've been through so far."

"Whaㅡ"

"Let me finish." Baekhyun stops him again by raising his hand. "I want something else and I'm sorry, Yeol, but I don't think there's anything more we can do or in this relationship. We're stuck."

"But Iㅡ"

"I've already made my mind. I love you, but I can't keep going." Baekhyun bows his head down, not wanting to look into Chanyeol's eyes. He needs to end this, but the idea of being alone scares him and Baekhyun knows that it will only take Chanyeol a few words to convince him to stay. Enough is enough.

Chanyeol can only blink, feeling his heart slowly breaking down to little pieces. His chest hurts and the words are stuck in his throat. The air is missing from his lungs and the nervousness he felt before has passed to be nausea.

"You don't need to say anything. Good bye, Yeol."

And just like that, Baekhyun walks away and Chanyeol just stands there, watching him go in silence, hot tears wetting his cheeks. 

🔸️

Jongin is pissedㅡ furious. Almost rabid. Chanyeol can tell by the way his nostrils flare; he should've been more careful when choosing the words ti explain how things went down with Baekhyun. He had arrived so excited, a bottle of expensive champagne in hand, just what Chanyeol needed, but not necessarily for the same reason as Jongin. 

It has never been a secret for anyone that Jongin and Baekhyun don't have the best relationship, so Jongin really didn't need much to start fuming.

" _ I don't like you either _ ." Had been Baekhyun's answer, entirely disregarding the murdering look being thrown his way.

Back then, Chanyeol had been sure was going to be hell, having his best friend and boyfriend fighting all the time; fortunately for him, they decided to be civil with each other, for everyone's sake and Chanyeol's own peace of mind.

But now, it seems to be taking Jongin a great effort to stay where he is and not commit serious murder.

"That bastard." He grumbles, taking a long sip from the bottle.

Chanyeol looks at him with both of his eyebrows raised. He should be pissed as well, throwing and breaking things; crying and maybe thinking about jumping off his balcony, but instead, he feels nothing. An emptiness in his chest and stomach that makes him feel numb. He should be the one cursing and drinking, but words are not leaving his mouth and his legs feel like jelly. It's a terrible feeling, not feeling anything at all.

"What are you gonna do?" Jongin asks, finally leaving the bottle on the coffee table. Chanyeol only shrugs. "Because if you want to, I canㅡ" Chanyeol shakes his head.

"It's over, Jongin." He mumbles, barely audible.

"And are you going to just take his shit like you've been doing for the past three years?" 

Chanyeol swallows, he knows that's just Jongin's anger speaking, but it touches a sensitive nerve. He's kinda right too, though. Ever since Baekhyun came into his life, everything changed for him, for good, for bad... he's still trying to figure that out.

He wanted to pursue his dream of having a band, but if we wanted them to have everything Baekhyun was used to, by coming from a good family, that dream needed to go away and he needed to get a real job, still in music, but for other people.

"It might not be what you want to hear right now, but maybe this is a good thing." Jongin says, more calmly now. "You finally got out of that toxic relationship."

"Don't say that. He never forced me to do anything, he evenㅡ" Chanyeol shakes his head, interrupting himself. There's no point in arguing with Jongin when he's angry.

It doesn't matter now, telling him they were composing music together and that Baekhyun wanted Chanyeol to perform at his record label's upcoming Christmas party. Chanyeol wanted them to perform together, since Baekhyun has a beautiful voice, but that doesn't matter anymore, does it?

"I think... I just need some time alone." Chanyeol mumbles.

"Are you sure?" Jongin sounds worried. 

"He's a grown man. He doesn't need you to babysit him." They both turn their heads around at the new voice in the room.

Baekhyun is there, with a bag hanging from his shoulder. Chanyeol's breath gets caught in his throat. He's really not ready to go through this right now. 

"What are you doing here?" Jongin stands up, ready to jump at Baekhyun, but Chanyeol's hand around his wrist stops him.

"What are  _ you _ doing here? Taking advantage of the situation?" Baekhyun scoffs, looking at him with disdain.

"Whatㅡ" Chanyeol tries to ask what Baekhyun means, but he doesn't think he's ready for that conversation either.

He might know what it is about, Baekhyun had told him before; even though he didn't want to believe it; it doesn't even seems like a plausible idea, there's no way for Jongin to be  _ in love  _ with him, they have been friends since they were toddlers.

"You don't even have the balls toㅡ"

"Enough." Chanyeol cuts Baekhyun off. "Jongin, can you please leave us alone?"

Jongin's lips press into a thin line and he frowns, but ends up nodding anyway. "Call me if you need anything." It's all he says before heading to the door. 

Chanyeol waits for the door to close. "I assume you came for your clothes?"

"Yeah." Baekhyun mumbles. "Iㅡ I wanted to do laundry but my brother's washing machine broke and Iㅡ"

"It's fine. Everything is as you left it." Chanyeol points at his now solo bedroom. He sits back down on the couch with his phone, staring at the screen, a picture of Baekhyun and him with his nephew he has as wallpaper; Chanyeol thinks he looks nice in it, he makes a mental note to remember to crop Baekhyun out of the photo.

Baekhyun opens his mouth, he wants to say something, but doesn't know what exactly, so he just sighs and continues his way to the room. 

His clothes are exactly the same just like Chanyeol said. It has been only three days since he left the apartment, but he had been expecting for Chanyeol to have thrown everything away already, by the way he ended things, Baekhyun didn't expect less. But he also knows Chanyeol is not like that.

He grabs what he can, leaving a few things in the closet and the drawers because there isn't much space in his bag, even when he knows inside, that is just an excuse to come back. One of Chanyeol's shirts accidentally ends up in the bag, but he doesn't need to know that.

"Uh... Chanyeol?" Baekhyun calls once he notices one of his shirts is missing.

"Yeah?" Chanyeol peeks his head through the door frame. 

"Have you uh... have you seen my favorite shirt? The one with the stripesㅡ"

"I know. I think... it's in the laundry room. I washed it yesterday andㅡ let me get it." Chanyeol cuts himself off once he realizes he doesn't really need to explain anything.

"Sure, thanks." Baekhyun mumbles.

"Here." Chanyeol comes back a minute later.

"Thanksㅡ"

"I'll be in the living room, ifㅡ"

"Wait, Yeol." 

Chanyeol stops, heart clenching at the used name, that one does hurt. A lot.

"Yeah?" He looks up at Baekhyun, gathering all the courage he can to not start tearing up there.

"Um... I just want to make sure you're going to be okay by yourself." Baekhyun says, fidgeting with the shirt in his hand.

Chanyeol frowns at that. "What is that supposed to mean?" He raises his voice a little more than what he intended to. 

Baekhyun's eyes widen, the question didn't come out like he wanted it to. 

"No. No." He shakes his head. "Don't take me wrong. I just meanㅡ I mean, are you going to be  _ okay _ ?"

Chanyeol shrugs. "I don't see why not." His words and his tone are cold, but he needs it that way in order to keep calm and not break down in front of Baekhyun.

"Okay." Baekhyun nods.

Chanyeol doesn't wait for him to say anything else, he turns around and goes back to the living room so he can sulk a little bit more on the couch.

Baekhyun comes out a few minutes later, with his bag full of clothes hanging from his shoulder.

"I still haveㅡ"

"You can come whenever you want to. Even if I'm not home, the passcode will be the same."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks." Baekhyun waits a moment, for something. Just for something to happen; for Chanyeol to say anything, for a sign that he should stay and try again. But nothing happens and with a sigh, Baekhyun leaves the apartment.

🔸️

"I still think you're stupid." Minseok shrugs, rolling a green grape between his fingers. His glass of wine is almost empty and that's the flfth one.

"There's no need to be rude." Baekhyun rolls his eyes. He hasn't drank that much. It doesn't feel the same without Chanyeol being there to support his drunk self, taking very much welcomed advantage of him and feeling him up in front of their friends. It was a show, but Baekhyun loved it.

"There is. Because you  _ are _ stupid." Jongdae points out, glass in hand. "How could you leave someone like Chanyeol? I mean... it's  _ Chanyeol.  _ You  _ never  _ leave a Chanyeol: caring, sweet, attentiveㅡ"

"God Dae, why don't you ask him out instead?" Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

"Sure! I would tap that!"

"Sit. Down." Baekhyun grunts at his friend who was just standing up. "It had to be done."

"But  _ why _ ?" Jongdae presses.

"Because... he is everything you said and so much more." He sighs. "But... I was starting to feel suffocated, you know?"

"No, we don't." Minseok answers.

"What I mean is... I felt like our relationship wasn't going anywhere, anymore."

"So you wanted him to do... what? Propose?" Jongdae quirks an eyebrow. He never thought of Baekhyun as someone who would like to get married.

"Yes. No. I don't know, okay? Maybe."

"Then why didn't  _ you _ propose?"

"Because he doesn't even know what he wants, Minnie, haven't you been paying attention?" Jongdae whispers in his friend's ear.

"He's confused." Minseok states, frowning at Baekhyun.

"Very."

"Guys, I'm still here." Baekhyun frowns as well. He would like to drop the topic, talk about something else. He shouldn't have brought it out in the first place. 

🔸️

"You really need to reconsider the situation, Baek. I thought you two were fine." Jiah, his sister-in-law says. She's holding his newborn niece in her arms, she's sleeping.

"We were... and now it kinda hurts, he doesn't even look my way whenever I pass by the apartment to pick up my things." Baekhyun huffs. He's making them both some snacks. His brother is out for groceries.

"Well, what were you expecting? You dumped him for no apparent reason." Jiah shrugs, the baby stirs.

"I did have a reason! Iㅡ" Baekhyun stops himself and grimaces. Did he, really? "I needed some time. I wanted more things in life."

"Like what?" Jiah quirks an eyebrow. 

"Like... a wedding and a family and a dog. Chanyeol is allergic to furry animals."

"So you dumped him because you can't have a pet? You can get a fish. I heard turtles are great petsㅡ"

"No!" Baekhyun sighs. "That's not the point at all! I mean that I think Chanyeol doesn't want the same things as me."

"Have you asked him?"

"Not... really. No. We've never talked about it. I always thought he would freak out." 

"Then you don't really  _ know. _ "

"You're just making me feel more bad than I already do." 

"Great!" Jiah exclaims with a smile. "I want you two to get back together. I want Chanyeol to be Sumi's godparent." 

"What about me?!" Baekhyun feels offended.

"You too... with Chanyeol. No Chanyeol, no deal." She sounds serious. Jiah is probably not joking. She rarely jokes.

🔸️

"I don't know... is it right?" Baekhyun speaks on the phone, looking over to the closed door. He's been ringing the bell for 10 minutes now. "He's not home."

"He told you you could go in anytime you'd like, right?" Jiah is starting to sound desperate; Baekhyun can hear his nephew's cries.

"Yeah, butㅡ"

"Just try the passcode." She sighs. "If it's the same, he meant it. Is that simple."

"You're right."

"I know."

"But what ifㅡ"

"Good bye, Baek, I have a daughter to feed." She hangs up before Baekhyun can say anything else. 

Baekhyun stares at his screen for a couple of seconds, still wondering if it's right for him to just go in the apartment. Yes, Chanyeol said he could, but it just doesn't feel right anymore. It feels like he's invading his ex's privacy, but he really,  _ really _ needs those documents for work for tomorrow.

"Okay, whatever." Baekhyun finally decides to go inside. He types the code and the door beeps open. So Chanyeol did mean it.

Baekhyun shrugs and almost runs inside, he's been fearing one of the nosy neighbors will come out and ask why they haven't seen him around. He's not in the mood to explain it to them and he'll never be.

The apartment feels strangely empty, something missing in the air. The lights are all out and everything is in the same place he remembers: the blanket on the couch, the remote on the coffee table. 

Even that plant next to the TV he left is still alive. He had honestly thought Chanyeol was going to let it die or simply throw it away.

The sensation in his stomach is uncomfortable, so he decides not to pay attention anymore and find those documents so he can leave as soon as possible.

Inside the room he used to share with Chanyeol feels even worse. Just like in the living room, everything seems to be the same, except... one of the drawers is half open and empty.

Baekhyun frowns, but shakes it off, maybe Chanyeol is moving things around, now that he's not there anymore. 

He kneels on the floor and gets down to see under the bed, looking for a box where he used to store a bunch of documents and important papers, but is not there. Chanyeol must have moved it. 

Baekhyun goes to the closet and opens the door, only to find half of Chanyeol's clothes are gone. He frowns, the heaviness in his stomach deepens, but still, he doesn't want to start assuming. Maybe he's just doing laundry at his mother's house. He used to do that a lot when they first moved in together and Baekhyun had to travel out of Seoul for business. He never liked doing those types of things alone.

Baekhyun takes the small stool inside the closet, he had put it there so he could reach the highest part of theirㅡ the closet and steps on it to grab the wicker basket on the top shelf.

He can't reach. Strange, he could just a couple of weeks ago. Did he get shorter? Did Chanyeol push the shelf further up? Baekhyun groans, standing on his tiptoes a little and stretching his arm until his fingers brush the slightly rough material. He had bought that basket on the market because it looked cute and seemed useful to store things, he never imagined the amount of hand cuts they would get just by touching it sometimes. And as if fate was still working against him, Baekhyun stumbles a little, his finger slicing through a sharp point of wicker while his instinct tells him he should look for something to hold on to. Bad idea. The basket slides over the shelf as Baekhyun inevitably leans back and gravity can't help him this time. He falls on his ass, hitting also part of his lower back. All of the content in the basket scatters around him.

"Damn it." He curses, groaning. He's going to be so sore tomorrow. 

As he thought, the papers are not there and everything that was inside the basket is totally useless. Why did they never clean that up? Baekhyun rolls his eyes at himself and shakes his head. He doesn't live there anymore, he should stop thinking about  _ us, we, ours.  _

He's about to get up, using his elbows to lift himself up when the small thing down at his feet catches his attention. It's a small box, black and squared. It looks likeㅡ Baekhyun quickly scrambles on the floor, kicking everything else away and reaching for the box. He stares at it with wide eyes for a moment. Should he open it? Wouldn't he be invading Chanyeol's privacy? But this concerns him too, right? Unless his ex-boyfriend was planning on proposing someone else while they were together or he already has someone else. 

That is impossible, he mentally slaps himself. Chanyeol would never. So it only means... he rushes to open the small box, clammy fingers ruining the velvet, but it's just that he's so nervous he can't even think about caring at the moment. 

His eyes fill with tears when they land upon the ring resting on the cushioned interior of the box:  _ moonstones _ ; of course Chanyeol wasn't going to propose to someone else. His hand covers his mouth as a violent sob shakes his body, since when does Chanyeol have this? 

With tears wetting his face and snot running out of his nose, he looks for his phone. His hands are slightly shaking. He still has Chanyeol on speed dialing, so he just presses the number one and the other's name instantly appears on the screen. It rings several times, but no one picks up. He dials again, and again, and again. Same results. It doesn't even go to voicemail. 

Baekhyun curses and feels like smashing his phone against the floor. He's angry and he doesn't even know why.

Why isn't Chanyeol picking up? Is this some sort of cruel joke? He tries again. Nothing. Baekhyun's grip on the box tightens. 

He sits on the couch and takes a long, deep breath. He needs to calm down and get his shit together. Okay, he can't reach Chanyeol and god knows where he might be. His only choice now is... he groans. He really, really doesn't want to do this, but he hasㅡ no,  _ needs _ to.

Baekhyun looks for the name through his contact list, has saved the guy as "Obnoxious Asshole". It rings a couple of times, then the annoying voice picks up, he hadn't even said a full sentence and already sounds  _ obnoxious _ .

"Jongin."

" _ I'm sorry, who is this? _ "

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. "Don't fuck with me. I know Chanyeol gave you my number in case of emergencies. This is an emergency."

_ "What do you want? _ " 

Baekhyun can hear some ruffling on the other side and then a soft  _ come back to bed _ . He scoffs. Isn't Jongin supposed to like Chanyeol as more than just a friend? 

Wait, what ifㅡ he stops the thought and shakes his head. He needs to stop thinking nonsense.

" _ Helloooo? Listen, I'm in the middle of something andㅡ _ "

"Do you know where Chanyeol is?" Baekhyun asks once he comes back to his senses.

There is a silence of a minute in where Baekhyun thinks Jongin has hung up.

" _ He didn't tell you? _ " Jongin asks, sounding genuinely stranged. " _ He didn't tell you _ ." He confirms his own question after Baekhyun fails to answer.

"Tell me what?" He frowns.

" _ I don't know if I should tell you. If he didn't do it in the first placeㅡ _ " 

"Jongin... please." The word struggles to come out of his mouth. "This is important. I need to talk to him."

Jongin hums. " _ I think you won't be able to do that. Unless you run to the airport now, but his plane leaves in less than an hour _ ."

"P-plane? What plane?" Baekhyun feels like crying again.

" _ You know, those things that fly and take you to places? _ "

"Jongin." Baekhyun grits out. 

" _ He's going to Europe _ ."

"What? Whenㅡ when is he coming back?" His voice has lowered down, he's not sure if Jongin heard him.

" _ Well... he didn't mention anything about coming back _ ."

Baekhyun doesn't even bother on answering back. He hangs up and runs off, almost forgetting to close and lock the door.

At the airport, he looks everywhere. Every gate, every wing and even bathrooms; he calls and no one picks up.

It's too late now, Chanyeol is gone. 

🔸️

Baekhyun spends the next couple of hours huddled up in his brother's guest room, crying. His blanket covering him up to half of his face and the small box tightly pressed against his chest.

He's been asking himself how could he be so stupid to let Chanyeol go just like that; all because he was too convincend Chanyeol didn't want the same things he did and because it didn't occur to him to  _ ask _ . They would be planning their wedding now and how many kids they'd have.

"Stupid. Stupid." Baekhyun grumbles to himself, pressing his knees further into his chest. He wants Chanyeol right now, to cuddle him and tell him everything's gonna be fine.

Baekhyun falls asleep not so long after, sobbing and with his pillow wet with tears.

He wakes up several hours later, it's already dark outside, but with a new realization in mind. What is he doing mopping and crying when he could be taking a plane right now to go look for Chanyeol? 

Baekhyun doesn't know exactly where he went, but Jongin does and if he has to  _ beg _ for information, he will. So he gets up the bed, takes a quick shower and packs one bag with three changes of clothes, underwear, deodorant, toothbrush and his passport

By the time he arrives at Jongin's apartment it's almost eleven p.m.; he knocks on the door like a madman until it opens. Jongin doesn't look like he's been sleeping, he's naked, with only a sheet covering the lower part of his body and he looks pissed.

"What?" Jongin growls.

"I need your help."

"Don't you see I'm in the middle of something?" He points at his naked self.

"Yeah, whatever. I need you to tell me where Chanyeol is."

"I already didㅡ" 

"I need his exact location. City, hotel he's staying inㅡ"

"Jongin? Is everything okay?" A small voice from the hall interrupts Baekhyun in his halt.

"Yeah, Soo, justㅡ"

"Hello." Baekhyun peeks over Jongin. "I'm sorry to interrupt. I just need him to cooperate and I'll be on my way."

"Who is this?" The guy asks. He's just slightly shorter than himself, dark hair and big eyes. He's also half naked. Maybe Jongin is not  _ that _ in love with Chanyeol after all.

"Chanyeol's  _ ex _ -boyfriend." Jongin grumbles, murderous eyes set on him.

"The longer it takes you to give me what I'm asking for, the longer I'll stay here." Baekhyun crosses his arms against his chest and leans on the door frame.

Jongin doesn't say anything. He is very pissed and Baekhyun is kind of enjoying it.

"Jonginnie~" The guy from the hall almost sings. "Hurry up, I need you in bed right now." He says. Jongin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, the grip he has on the sheet, tightens.

He grumbles something Baekhyun can't understand and turns around, angrily pacing to the kitchen and angrily opening some drawers. 

Jongin comes back a few minutes later, angrily handing him a small sticky-notes pad. 

"Everything is in there."

"Any idea why he's not answering his phone?"

"Lost it. Got a new one. It's also there." Jonging informs him reluctantly.

"Come on, Nini."  _ Soo _ comes closer, grabbing Jongin by the arm to pull him along. "Good luck." He says, smiling and winking at him.

Baekhyun smiles too, grateful for the help. He'll definitely invite him to their wedding.

🔸️

Baekhyhun finds himself at the airport, alone. Ticket to Santorini, Greece in hand. It's almost two in the morning and the earliest flight he could find leaves at 5 a.m.

He's terrified to say the least, he's never traveled out of Korea before. At least not on his own. 

The airport is practically empty, just a few people coming and going, dragging their suitcases with them, half asleep, just like him.

He sits on the plastic chairs and hugs his bag tightly against his chest, leans back and closes his eyes. He could sleep just a few minutes, his head hurts due to so much crying. He hasn't even tried to call Chanyeol to his new number, Baekhyun wants this to be a surprise. A good one he hopes. Maybe Chanyeol still tolerates him enough to marry him.

His alarm sounds half an hour before five. Baekhyun stirs in his sleep and yawns. There is more people now and the sun is starting to peek through the clouds. He takes a deep breath and stands up to look for his gate. 

In a few hours, he'll be landing on an unknown place, but he's ready to do that. He's ready to get Chanyeol back. 

🔸️

The Santorini weather is nice, not too hot and perfect for Baekhyun who is used to sweat like a pig running a marathon when is hot.

He managed to grab a cab at the airport using the online english lessons he took a few months ago because he was bored. He knew it was going to be useful someday.

The Estherea hotel is beautiful. That was the name written on the notepad Jongin gave him. Whatever it is that Chanyeol came to do here ㅡmakes his stomach churns just to think about the possibilities, because let's be real, how many reasons would you have to stay at such luxurious and beautiful place? Is Chanyeol really seeing someone else already? This soon? Baekhyun's heart is not ready for it.

"Stop assuming." Baekhyun grumbles to himself, palming his forehead. Assuming things is what got him in this mess in the first place. 

"Sir, are you okay?" A female's voice speaks to him. Baekhyuns turns his head to the right, she's looking at him with extreme worry and maybe fear.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry. I uhㅡ I made a reservation earlier?" Baekhyun gets closer to the counter.

"Of course. May I have an ID?" 

"Yeah." Baekhyun fumbles with his bag, looking for his ID card that he's sure he left somewhere in there.

Two minutes later he finally finds it, tangled with one of his boxers. He's never been precisely the most organized person, if anything he owes it to Chanyeol the fact that he still has his shit together. Kind of.

"There you go." The woman slide a card at him. "Room C-337, third floor. Would you like for someone to carry your luggage for you?"

Baekhyun eyes at his single bag. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Enjoy your stay." She smiles. 

Baekhyun takes the elevator to the third floor, he's feeling queasy, almost dizzy and nervous. What if Chanyeol is not even here and Jongin tricked him just to get him to leave? He wouldn't dare to send him to another country just because, right?

Maybe he would. 

It's noon when Baekhyun decides to come down and explore and also think of a way to get the receptionist to tell him which room Chanyeol is staying in.

There are a lot more people down at the lobby than when he arrived; they're dressed in semi-formal clothes, pretty summer dresses and hair. 

He looks around, it seems that a wedding is taking place at the hotel, maybe a guest or a local. Baekhyun pulls his phone out of his pocket and searches for Chanyeol's new number, it's time to call him and fix things up.

The phone is ringing and his stomach is swirling; it rings for a third time when Baekhyun hears a very familiar, boisterous laughter booming somewhere near. He would recognize that sound  _ anywhere _ . Chanyeol is standing there, just a few feet away from where he is, wearing white, hair slicked back and looking the most handsome Baekhyun has ever seen. Looped to his arm is a girl, red hair and also wearing white, a pretty beach dress and flowers on her head. She's definitely not Korean, so he wonders where did Chanyeol meet her and why he didn't know about her?

Baekhyun shakes his head, it is definitely not the time to get jealous. Is Chanyeol a guest to the wedding orㅡ nope, not again.

Baekhyun hangs up the phone when he realizes Chanyeol is not picking up and doesn't seem to have his phone anywhere near him. He takes a step forward but stops himself almost instantly. He can't ruin this day for Chanyeol; he looks happy, in a good mood. Maybe he can look for him after the wedding ends or maybeㅡ

"Baekhyun?" He jolts on his place, focusing on the person in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

"What?" Baekhyun mumbles.

"Are you okay? You look pale." Chanyeol looks worried and Baekhyun still feels a little out of place, still not completely registering Chanyeol.

"Iㅡ I'm fine. I justㅡ" Baekhyun starts to hyperventilate a little.

"Hey, Baek, calm down." He looks around, then back at Baekhyun. "I'll get you some water." Chanyeol takes Baekhyun to a small lounge area and then gets a bottle of water from the souvenir's shop.

"Here."

"Thanks." Baekhyun takes the bottle with shaky hands and drinks.

"Now. Are you going to tell me what are you doing here?" Chanyeol asks again after a few minutes.

"Iㅡ I wanted to talk to you." 

"And... you came all over here just to do that?" Chanyeol quirks an eyebrow, skeptical. Baekhyun nods. "How did you know I was here?"

"Jongin told me. When I first got here I thought he could be lying, but it was my only chance toㅡ"

"Chanyeol." The same red hair girl approaches them. "The ceremony is about to start, we need to get going." She looks at Baekhyun with an apologetic smile.

"Yeah…" Chanyeol pauses, considering his options. "Come with us. We can talk after the wedding." He offers.

Baekhyun shakes his head. "I can wait. Come to my room, C-337, when you can."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Baekhyun sniffles.

"Okay." Chanyeol accepts, standing up from where he had been crouching to be at Baekhyun's level. "I'll see you later."

Baekhyun gives him a small smile and once Chanyeol is gone, he leaves too. He has a lot to think about before their talk. 

🔸️ 

Baekhyun is feeling a little more at peace now that he knows Chanyeol  _ is _ here and agreed to talk to him. He's falling asleep when he hears a knock on the door. Baekhyun looks at the time on his phone: 5:25 p.m., that must be Chanyeol, so he stands up quickly, rushes to the mirror and fixes his hair; he has prominent dark bags under his eyes, but that doesn't matter right now. He just wants this emotional torture to be over.

"Hey." Baekhyun opens the door.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Chanyeol looks apologetic.

"No. Not at all. Come in." He steps aside.

Baekhyun watches as Chanyeol walks inside, looking around. He swallows at how good Chanyeol looks in white, the pants hug his thighs deliciously, how he wishes he couldㅡ he shakes his head, not the time to be having those kind of thoughts. 

"You wanted to talk?" Chanyeol turns around.

"Um... yeah. Iㅡ how are you doing? I meanㅡ you're here. I didn't really want to ruin your dayㅡ"

"It is not my day." Chanyeol chuckles. "I already signed as a witness, the party can wait."

"W-witness?"

"Yeah." Chanyeol shrugs. "Remember I told you my friend Leah from work was getting married to her girlfriend?"

"Oh... yes. Yeah, I remember." Baekhyun nods.

"Well, this is the wedding venue. Pretty, cool, huh?"

"Yeah... very." Baekhyun's voice barely comes out. The air is stuck in his throat. "And I hope I didn't ruin your date, the girl is beautiful. Did you meet her in Korea?"

"Anna? Nah, she just needed a date for the day because her girlfriend couldn't make it on time."

"She's a l-lesbian too?" Baekhyun sounds almost embarrassed for having assumed the worst.

Chanyeol chuckles. "Baek, this is a lesbian wedding, the place is crowded with lesbians. Didn't think Leah and Jiahn were that popular, to be honest. Anyway, I think we're deviating from the main reason I'm here."

Baekhyun lets out a sigh. "Okay, I'm not gonna go around the bushes this time because I really hate the fact that we're not doing anything to fix our relationship."

"What?" Chanyeol narrows his eyes. "You dumped me."

"I know. I" Baekhyun sighs, closing his eyes and feeling the most stupid he's ever felt in his entire life, "and I'm sorry, I thought I was doing us both a favor. I shouldn't have rushed it. I should've talked to you first. I was stupid."

"And you came all the way here just to tell me that?" Chanyeol quirks an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Baekhyun exclaims, exasperated. "I went to your apartment the other day and let myself in. I needed some documents for work and when I was looking, the basket in the closet fell all over me."

"Oh." Chanyeol quickly responds, already knowing where the rest of the conversation is going.

"Yeah. I found this." He shoves his hand inside his pocket and pulls out the ring, without the box. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because..." Chanyeol sighs. "I was going to, but… you broke up with me first. Didn't give me the chance."

"Why didn't you shut me up and proposed?" 

"Well, it was kinda hard to think about something else aside from the fact that you were  _ breaking up with me _ !" Chanyeol states what he thought it was obvious. "And then, I thought that if I did, you would think I was doing it just to bribe you back to me."

"Chanㅡ"

"Tell me I'm wrong about that." He quirks an eyebrow.

Baekhyun chews on his lower lip. "No." He mumbles. "I  _ would _ have thought that."

"I just didn't want you to feel compromised."

Baekhyun understands, Chanyeol knows him more than he thought he did. 

"You lost your phone, too, right?" 

"Yeah, went out to drink with Jongin days ago, got drunk and I don't even remember where I left it."

"You? Drunk?" Baekhyun scoffs. Chanyeol is not good with alcohol.

"Don't laugh. I was hurt andㅡ"

"I'm sorry, Yeol. I didn't think about the possible consequences." Baekhyun sighs once again. 

"I know, it's just... you took me by surprise. I mean, I was going to propose, you were going to say yes, we were going to come to this wedding and have our honeymoon here as well andㅡ"

"For real?" Baekhyun's eyes widen.

"Yeah. You should see the honeymoon suite, it's absolutelyㅡ"

Chanyeol can't even finish talking, he suddenly has Baekhyun hanging from his neck, having knocked the air out of him. By instinct, Chanyeol wraps his arms around Baekhyun, a crooked smile curls up on his lips.

"Why don't you... come with me to the party?" Chanyeol speaks a minute later, gently pushing Baekhyun away to see his face. His eyes are red and watery. "Hey, don't cry. We'll... talk about that engagement ring later, okay? Once you're more calmed."

"Okay." Baekhyun sniffles.

"About the partyㅡ"

"Ah, it's okay. I don't want to be a bother."

"Not at all. You were invited too, remember? Leah said she saved your plate because she knew we couldn't be away from each other for long. She thought that for now, we would be together again." 

"And we are... aren't we?" Baekhyun sounds hopeful.

"Yeah. We are." 

🔸️

Baekhyun feels extremely ridiculous with his jeans and pac-man graphic t-shirt. Everyone is so well dressed he sticks up like a sore thumb and  _ everyone _ is looking at him right now. Chanyeol doesn't seem to care, though, as he keeps his arm around his shoulders and smiles at every person in the room.

The brides had greeted him with a hug and a huge smile, expressing their happiness at them being together again. Baekhyun congratulated them for their marriage and apologized for the outfit.

Baekhyun remembers going out on double dates with them a few times before, so he'll make a mental note to send them a very nice wedding gift later.

He drinks, a lot. He ends up a little more than just a bit tipsy, so Chanyeol has to basically carry him back to his room, removing his shoes and clothes and putting on one of his larger shirts.

But Baekhyun doesn't feel like sleeping, he needs to be sure that things are okay between them. He gets up from bed, almost falling to the floor, grabs a bottle of water and chugs the entire content in one go.

Chanyeol is outside on the balcony, he can see him through the curtains.

Once he feels okay to walk on his own, he heads to the window and steps outside. It's chilly, but not enough for him to bother on wearing pants. And Chanyeol is shirtless, so there is an extra point for drunk Baekhyun.

"You're smoking." Baekhyun states. "You only smoke when you're feeling anxious. What is it?"

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Chanyeol asks instead, putting the cig down on the ashtray.

"Didn't feel like it. What is making you anxious?" Baekhyun tries again.

Chanyeol only shrugs. "I was just thinking. About us."

"You said we were fine."

"We are. I am. Are  _ you _ ? Chanyeol side eyes Baekhyun.

"What? Of course I am! Iㅡ you know I love you. My stupidity is another story." 

Chanyeol chuckles. "What about the ring? Or more like, the whole scenario around the ring. You know, marriage, family, commitment. Are we really ready for that?"

"I am ready for commitment." Baekhyun rushes to say.

"I don't know, Baek. Maybe we should give that some time. Go back to live together, if you want andㅡ" Chanyeol cuts himself off and blinks. Baekhyun is kneeling on the floor, holding the ring on his fingers. "Uh... what are you doing?"

"Will you marry me?" Baekhyun asks, batting his lashes.

"Well, technically, that's my ring." He points at the small jewel.

"But it was meant to be mine. I have it now and I can do whatever I want with it."

Chanyeol scoffs and then chuckles, kneeling in front of Baekhyun as well. "Yes, I will marry you. But" he takes the ring from Baekhyun "this was made especially for you, so you should have it." And puts it on his ring finger.

"I'll get you a ring when we get back." Baekhyun promises and Chanyeol nods, pulling Baekhyun in for a kiss.

"How long are we staying here?" Baekhyun asks once they pull away.

"I couldn't cancel the reservation to make a cheaper one so… you will move with me to the honeymoon suite tomorrow, we still have four more days. Our honeymoon in advance."

"Right now, please? I miss your hands on me." Baekhyun bites his lip.

Chanyeol stands. "Hop on." He says and Baekhyun jumps, wrapping his legs around his torso and arms around his neck, a wide smile on his face.

"Leave the window open." Baekhyun pants in between kisses.

Chanyeol grins, shivers running down his spine.


	2. (please) let me down slowly (extra)

🔹️

Kyungsoo, Jongin's boyfriend, turned out to be a sweetheart, according to Baekhyun. He's short; shorter than Baekhyun himself, so he doesn't have to worry about that.

Jongin can't stand that they started to get along that much.

He also turned out to be a wedding planner, working for one of Seoul's best events' planning company.

Baekhyun had been so fascinated with his work that he didn't even hesitate to hire him. Much to Jongin's dismay and Chanyeol's amusement.

They wanted a big wedding and Kyungsoo was perfect for it. "I don't want to be the typical groom in black and white. I want something different." Baekhyun expresses as he passes the pages of the wedding suits catalogue Kyungsoo brought for them to see.

"What about full white?" Kyungoo points at a very nice set of white suits with gray outlines.

"Hmm." Baekhyun hums and grimaces. "Too basic." Chanyeol does like it, but not enough to wear them on their day.

"What do you have in mind?" Kyungsoo asks, patiently. He's way past losing his patience every time he deals with a paranoid bride or groom. He is calm, knowing the stress these type of events can cause. It is better to just wait for them to decide and if they can't he tries his best to give them advice and guidance.

Baekhyun however, is not paranoid at all nor losing his mind over the details. Kyungsoo fears that he might come to a breaking point and explode. That happens a lot too.

"I want purple." Baekhyun suddenly says. 

There is silence in which Kyungsoo looks over at Chanyeol, who has his eyes wide in horror. Baekhyun wants  _ purple _ for their suits.

"Um... all purple suits?" Kyungsoo asks, carefully. Chanyeol looks like he's about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Why not? Purple is a great color." Baekhyun shrugs.

"Yes, but as great as it is as a color, I wouldn't suggest you choose that for your suits. Believe me when I say that it seems like a good idea now, but in a few years when you look at your wedding photos you're gonna regret that decision."

Baekhyun twists his lips, pensive. "Yeah, you're right. I don't want to look like an eggplant on my wedding."

Chanyeol lets out a long sigh of relief that if Baekhyun notices, doesn't comment on it.

"Why don't you let me gather some ideas first? I'll keep in mind purple and I'll call you in two days to meet up again." Kyungsoo offers, looking at both Baekhyun and Chanyeol with a smile.

"Sure." They both agree.

"Told you he's nuts." Jongin whispers one they're out of the apartment.

"Kyungsoo is great. I love him already." Baekhyun sighs and slumps down on the couch. Chanyeol hands him a bottle of water and sits next to him. "Be honest with me, what did you think about the purple suits?"

"Horrible." Chanyeol admits. Baekhyun chuckles. 

🔸️

Chanyeol is not sure how he made his way to the hospital without crashing. He was in the middle of a meeting when Jongin called him to tell him Baekhyun was at the hospital after he had stopped breathing.

And Jongin had said it just like that, like it wasn't a big deal. Chanyeol didn't even say anything and stormed out of the meeting room and the building in the blink of an eye, his heart pounding so hard in his chest it was starting to hurt.

He's now outside Baekhyun's room, pacing back and forth. There's a doctor and a nurse inside; he's conscious now, according to Kyungsoo, who is sitting in the waiting room feeling very guilty.

"Mr. Park?" The doctor comes out of the room.

"Yes. Is he okay?" Chanyeol rushes to ask.

"He is fine. It was just an allergic reaction to seafood." 

"Seafood?" Chanyeol blinks, surprised. Baekhyun doesn't even like seafood. 

"Shrimps and clams, to be more precise."

"Oh, um... can I see him?"

"Sure. Just keep it low, he's a little sensitive right now."

Chanyeol nods. "Thank you."

Opening the room's door, Baekhyun has his eyes closed. Chanyeol is careful to not make any noise, but as he's sitting on the chair next to the bed, Baekhyun speaks up.

"I'm not asleep." He grumbles. "I'm just feeling a little dizzy."

"Want me to call the nurse?" Chanyeol mumbles, getting closer to his fiancé.

"No. She was very annoying. And the doctor said it was because of the anesthesia."

Chanyeol only nods, even though Baekhyun hasn't opened his eyes yet.

"Seafood, baby, really?" Chanyeol quirks an eyebrow. 

Baekhyun hums. He doesn't like seafood, never had, therefore he couldn't know he was allergic to it, but as he was in the middle of trying out dishes for their wedding he was willing to eat anything just to have the best food they could afford. Now the only thought of garlic butter shrimps make his stomach churn in disgust.

"Now we know, I guess." Baekhyun tries to laugh, but instead he coughs. His throat is still numb.

It was a terrible experience he would've never like to be through again. He couldn't breath, feeling like something was closing down his throat, cutting off the flow of hair into his lungs.

Jongin had been the first one to his rescue, Baekhyun can still remember a little bit of what happened. He stopped him from falling to the floor and hitting his head, also carried him to his own car and drove him to the hospital. Jongin was almost crying of fear, but that's something they'll pretend never happened. Just for the sake of the guy's ego. 

"I was just... so worried." Chanyeol sighs, wrapping his hand around Baekhyun's. "I thought youㅡ because Jongin saidㅡ" He starts sniffling.

"Baby, don't cryㅡ" Baekhyun's voice crumbles as well because if Chanyeol cries, he can't help but cry as well. 

"I'm s-sorry." Chanyeol sobs, dropping his head down to rest it over Baekhyun's stomach.

They're both crying when the door opens and Kyungsoo and Jongin walk in slowly.

"Hey." Kyungsoo speaks first. Chanyeol sits up straight and wipes his tears with his hand. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's perfect. We just... well, yeah." Baekhyun looks away, mildly embarrassed.

"I... I know it's probably not the time, but the catering company wants to know which dish would you like to have, so they can book it." 

"Right, uh... I think the first steak I tried. You know the one with the chimichurri sauce, greens and mash potatoes is good."

"Okay. I'll let them know." Kyungsoo nods, to then leave so he can make some calls.

Jongin clears his throat then, as he stands behind Chanyeol.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, looking away and frowning.

"I'm good. Thank you, Jongin." 

Baekhyun speaks sincerely. Jongin nods, although he tries to look indifferent, he had been scared out of his wits.

"You and I are going to talk later." Chanyeol says to Jongin, he's a little angry. "You can't just say something like that and pretend everything is fine."

Jongin rolls his eyes. "Yeah, whatever." 

He turns around and heads to the door.

"Jongin, come back here."

But Jongin is already out. Chanyeol grumbles something Baekhyun can't understand and turns back to him.

Baekhyun sneers, maybe some scolding will be good for Jongin.

  
  


🔹️ 

Baekhyun's wish of having purple on their suits came true. Thankfully for Chanyeol, Kyungsoo's brain is on another level and he managed to make them look elegant in white and purple, some sparkle here and there too. Baekhyun had been so happy he had kissed Kyungsoo right on the lips, for Chanyeol's amusement and Jongin displeasure. 

Baekhyun had also cried earlier that day, at how gorgeous the venue was decorated. Flowers, tables' arrangements, cutlery, glasses... everything was just perfect.

But there was still a heavy feeling in his stomach as he looks at himself in the mirror; his hair is styled up and his eyes have discreet but sparkly make-up. The ceremony is about to start and he's so nervous, the sensation of wanting to throw up doesn't leave his stomach.

Baekhyun lets out a long sigh as a pair of hands sneak under his arms and around his waist. Chanyeol rests his chin over his shoulder and kisses his neck.

"Everything okay?" He asks, looking at their reflections on the mirror. 

"Yeah..." Baekhyun mumbles, but Chanyeol doesn't fully believe it.

"Baek... are you.... getting cold feet?" Chanyeol raises his head and frowns, his hold around his future husband loosening.

"What? No!" Baekhyun rushes to say, turning around to wrap his arms around Chanyeol's neck. "Not at all! I was just thinking..."

"About?" Chanyeol quirks an eyebrow.

"What we went through. I mean, it's still kind of hard to believe that you're really here. I don't think I could have forgiven something like that." Baekhyun sighs.

"Baek, if I gave you another chance, is because I love you and because I know how impulsive you can be. I was giving you time. I thought that, if you didn't come back to me soon enough, I would let you go for good. But you did and now we're here. Looking pretty and smelling good." Chanyeol chuckles.

"You don't regret it?" Baekhyun's hand moves up to Chanyeol's cheek, thumb rubbing softly a small patch of skin.

"No." Chanyeol says with confidence. "Are you ready now? We have to go out." 

Baekhyun nods, standing on his toes for a moment to kiss his fiancé.

"I love you."

Chanyeol responds with a smile and another kiss. 

🔸️

It's an awkward moment, but no one really realizes it. Jongin stands on the platform where the band is playing, mic on one hand and a beer on the other. There's silence for what it seems to be an eternity, Baekhyun and Chanyeol glance at each other, a bit worried.

Jongin is a little drunk by now, but they should know they don't have to worry, he would never do anything to ruin his best friend's wedding. Right?

"I... have to admit I was very surprised when Baekhyun asked me to make a toast." Jongin starts, he's looking down at his feet. "Specially because is not a secret that I never liked him." Some mumbling starts in the room. Baekhyun swallows and Chanyeol is ready to stand up and get his friend down in case he needs to. "When Chanyeol first met you and you two started to date, I kind of hated you, because I thought you were stealing my best friend." His eyes lock with Baekhyun's. "But after a while, I realized... you weren't. I saw Chanyeol being the happiest he had ever been whenever he talked about you, his eyes sparkled and it was kinda gross but" he has to make a small pause, waiting for everyone's laugh to die down "but I understood that it was you. Just you." 

By now, Baekhyun is sobbing, trying to hold back his tears. He looks over at Chanyeol, who is in no better state than he is.

"That never stopped me from giving you a hard time just because." Jongin shrugs. "But I want you to know that I'm very thankful to you, for appearing in my best friend'sㅡ  _ brother's _ life when he needed it the most. I'm sure the future holds great things for you two. I love you, Yeol and Baekhyun I... like you, too."

He gets on his feet, quick strides to where Jongin is coming down the platform. Baekhyun opens his arms and grins.

"Please don't." Jongin takes a step back.

"I know you want it." Baekhyun smirks. Jongin groans as Baekhyun wraps his arms around him. Jongin almost shivers and keeps his arms awkwardly glued to his sides. Baekhyun laughs and shakes his head. "Thank you. That was nice." Baekhyun says for him.

"Yeah... and I didn't have to write it." Jongin jokes. Baekhyun laughs again and steps away.

Chanyeol is ready to pull his friend into a tighter, more suffocating embrace.

"I love you, too." He says, choking on his tears. Jongin feels happy, he truly does. Especially when he sees Chanyeol wrapping his arms around his husband for a dance and the eyes still sparkle. 

Baekhyun leans his head against his friend's chest and smiles, it's corny and a small part of him feels like throwing up, but that's what true love looks like, he wants to think. He hopes to have that too one day, a quirky smile appearing on his face as he looks over to where Kyungsoo is, being praised by Chanyeol's aunts.

He knows fate will be good to them, because they deserve it. Jongin can't wait to see what that fate will bring.


End file.
